I've had a lot of time to figure out things. Who I am, who my real friends are, and what means most to me. It has been my first summer completely away from my parents. I mean, I saw them twice over the summer.. but yeah. Other than that... and I now know what it feels like to truly be alone sometimes. Being without my parents totally sucks.. they mean so much to me; my whole family actually. I don't know who or where I'd be if they weren't behind me like they always have been.. and I know I can trust them.. not of a lot of people can say they trust their parents, or even love them. But I'm grateful I can say that. They are the one thing I can rely on when a boy breaks my heart, or when a girl tries to hurt me, or if I can't take something anymore.. I don't easily trust people. That's why they mean so much to me. Because I know they are always honest...
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| My dad and mom. |
But something they can't keep from breaking my heart, is them falling away from me.. I am the youngest of my generation of family. Therefore, everyone is older; and dying. My dearest and only Grandpa I've known, died in 2009... and there will be more angels like him; following him. I will some day be the last one standing out of us. Can you imagine that heartbreak? Being the last one left out of everyone you love... I hope time helps me learn to grow and live without them. It hurts so much the thought of losing them. I don't want to be alone. Someday, this will happen.
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| My grandma and grandpa. |
I hope I find that someone who can relate to me, and always be there for me; like my family I have now. I've met a few great people along the way of life, that can fit the bill for me as 'family.' You know who you are if I've ever told you I love you, or if I've truly happily smiled at you.. and thank you for being there when I need it. I try to be the strongest person I can... but it doesn't always end up that way. It's a definitely easier walk of life when you have friends and family.
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| My cousins, siblings, grandparents from the Spaur side, and I. |
